I feel like a schitzophrenic when it comes to work, lately. Either I want to quit in a hail of enough vitriol to burn quite a few bridges, or I think 'eh, what have I got to worry about?'. I know I'm being taken advantage of, but I've never been into confrontation. Ever. Pretty strange for a supposed Aries. Well, they at least got the sheep part right. I get bored just doing the packs to send to the customers, cause I could do that in my sleep ... in fact I almost have a couple of times. I can daydream quite easily when I'm just doing customer packs. Anyway, I start to feel like I could pluck out my eyeballs for some excitement. Then, when I'm given something else to do I hate it because it usually involves having to call the customers about something they're gonna yell at me about. I don't get paid enough for this shit. Of course, then I think that in this economy I should be thankful that I have a job at all, then on the other hand, isn't life supposed to be too short to spend stagnating in a job I hate, just because it pays me a bit each week? You see? Schitzo. I think I might wait to think about this job shit after our holiday because I sure as shit can't get another job and then take off to Queensland shortly into it.
I wish I could get more excited about this holiday. I guess things like that need to be a little closer before I start feeling the first flutters of excitement. We've still got two and a bit months yet. I think I disappoint my sister who hasn't shut up about it since the start of January when I decided to tag along (she's had it booked since last September). It's alright for her, though all she has to do is stay at home all day and plan what she wants to do. I have to stagnate and fail at work for the next 60 odd days. My sister's the excitable type, anyway.
Sigh. What I'd really like to do is pack in my job, cash out my money and go travelling to Britain, Scotland, Ireland and revel in the rain again. In storms, with thunder and great strikes of lightning. I want to remember what it's like to stay in bed listening to the rain and appreciating my warm, cozy bed. Instead I cringe and think "shit, how bad is it gonna be at work?".
What I would really like is a less stressful dead-end job.
